Women often carry an extra tax in those moments: interruptions, credit leakage, the constant need to prove the point twice. There’s a six‑word line that cuts through the noise and tilts the table back to level.
The Thursday stand-up ran long and sideways. Laptops were open like shields, one colleague kept sprinting ahead, and the numbers on the slide stood there, quietly, while voices climbed over them. I watched a product lead sit forward, plant her feet, and lift her voice just enough to thread the chaos without stabbing it. “**Can we pause and clarify that?**” The sound wasn’t loud. It was clean. Heads turned. The tempo dropped a notch. Data returned to the centre of the table. Six words. Watch what happens next.
The six words that change the room
Those six words are a brake and a bridge. A brake on the runaway train, and a bridge back to the actual problem we need to solve. They shift the meeting from status games to shared clarity, which is where decisions live.
We’ve all had that moment where your point is evaporating in a tangle of side-quests and cross-talk. A simple line—delivered calm, not sharp—creates a gap the room can step into. That gap is oxygen. In that oxygen, facts breathe again.
In one fintech team I shadowed, a senior analyst named Maya used the line when a debate about “timeline risk” drifted into blame. She asked for the pause and the clarify, then wrote two words on the whiteboard: “Assumption drift.” In three minutes the group listed what had changed, who owned which piece, and the decision that still needed to be made. The meeting ended ten minutes early. Nobody raised their voice again.
Why it works is simple brain science and simple social science. Stress narrows attention and nudges people into threat mode; clarity phrases widen the frame and lower the heat. The question form invites collaboration rather than combat. It also reduces bias-driven friction by focusing the group on task, not tone, which is exactly where many women get unfairly judged. A short, neutral request changes the channel.
How to use them when the heat rises
Think “low, slow, steady”. Sit tall, plant both feet, and inhale through the nose for a quiet count of four, then speak on the exhale. Aim your eyes at the middle distance, not a single face. Say the six words in a measured tempo, then stop. *Breathe, speak, and let silence do part of the work.*
Park the hedges. Don’t pad with “sorry”, “just”, or “maybe I’m missing something”. Keep the line clean: **Can we pause and clarify that?** If people keep talking, hold your posture and repeat once, slightly slower. Let the stillness carry your authority. If someone asks “Clarify what?”, answer in one beat: “The decision and the data we’re using.” Short answers move rooms.
Let’s be honest: nobody actually does this every day. Real life is messy, and nerves are human. Two common slips: adding a nervous laugh, or turning the line into a speech. Try a softer jaw and a lower pitch to avoid both. A neutral face helps too, not blank, just calm. If your heart hammers, press your thumb to your ring finger under the table for a quiet anchor.
“Use six words as a bell. The bell rings, everyone returns to the point.”
- **What problem are we solving here?**
- Can we pause and clarify that?
- Let’s return to the core question.
- What decision are we making today?
- Who decides, and by when, please?
Take this with you
These six words aren’t about being louder. They’re about being unmistakable. In teams where interruptions nibble away at women’s ideas and invisible labour swallows credit, a crisp clarity move creates fairer ground for everyone. You can pair it with other small, steady habits—naming the decision, naming the owner, naming the evidence—so the meeting’s energy flows forward instead of sideways.
Try sharing the phrase with allies ahead of time and ask them to echo it if you get steamrolled. That’s not a crutch, it’s culture-building. A good meeting is a craft, and craft is teachable. Take those six words with you, lend them to a colleague, stick them on the top of your notes. The goal isn’t control. It’s progress that feels honest.
Every room holds a choice between noise and sense. Six words help you pick sense, without picking a fight. On some days that will change a minute. On other days, a career. And on the best days, it changes the way a whole team thinks together.
| Key points | Detail | Reader Interest |
|---|---|---|
| Six words as a reset | “Can we pause and clarify that?” slows tempo and recentres facts | Fast, usable script for high-stress moments |
| Simple delivery beats loud volume | Low, slow voice; short sentence; then let silence land | Practical technique you can try in the next meeting |
| Bias-resistant framing | Focus on task and decision, not tone or status | Fairer outcomes and visible authority without confrontation |
FAQ :
- Are these words confrontational?They’re collaborative by design. You’re asking for clarity, not calling someone out.
- What if I’m the most junior in the room?All the more reason to anchor to the task. Use the line, then point to the decision or data you need.
- What if someone keeps talking over me?Repeat once, slower, then name the chair: “Alex, I’m asking for a pause to clarify the decision.” If needed, follow up in writing.
- Will this work on video calls?Yes. Sit closer to the mic, lower your pace, and drop your line in the chat too so it’s on record.
- Can men use it as well?Absolutely. This isn’t a gender-only tool. It’s a clarity tool that helps level the meeting for everyone.
